For a long time, I’ve lived in absolution of praise, adoration, or accolades. For the most part, I consciously strive to detour from such situations because, in summary, I consider it a fleeting emotion—a dangerous high followed by a dissolving low. These variations in energy, feelings, emotions, and spirit are what I’ve always dreaded.
Now, I’m reading books about change, leadership, and impact, and I've come to realize that praise is inevitable if you want to be great. Although several people inevitably seek fame and praise without producing worthy work, it cannot be helped that praise will be the result of being great, helping others, and being crazily passionate—all of which constitute two elements of fulfillment: growth and contribution.
Whenever I encounter such kinds of realizations, my brain bangs and shouts, "You’re wrong, Nelson, you’re wrong." The bewilderment that follows is a journey down a rabbit hole that I cannot help but dive into.
Ingrained in my tripartite being is a mechanism that automatically alleviates the need for validation, and this is evident by my wallpaper, which reads, “Don’t trade your authenticity for approval.” Introspectively, I see that this positive but shallow mindset has influenced me to avoid public praise at all costs because of the fear that I might one day perform my actions in expectation of validation from people—a dangerous high and literal cocaine, if I may.
While that’s some of life’s best advice, should you then avoid great work because it’ll inevitably make people validate you? Should you deviate from scenarios that’ll cause applause? Is that how to live? These questions echo in my mind as I listen to Tony Robbins's TED Talk, an excerpt from the book “Charisma on Command” by Charlie Houpert.
During Tony’s rendition, he speaks of 6 essences for a fulfilled life. Normally, by default, I call bullshit on such pieces of advice, as I don’t believe anyone can tell anyone how to live. Who are you to do so when we’re all born equal? However, the last 2 essences—growth and contribution, which Tony mentions—are undoubtedly the actual keys to fulfillment if you deeply ponder them.
Against all feigned pursuit of vague and fleeting fame, growth and contribution pose a dependency problem. To contribute, one must grow. To grow, one must have a reason, which, if tied to contributing, is a free fuel in the furnace of achievement. But guess what? They inherently, in one way or another, elicit praise and publicity.
Now, I’m retracing my steps, and it’s hard because I’ve lived with such a mental model for a long time. It’s ingrained in my nature, and now, I just realized it’s been limiting. I’m changing, and it’s piercing because I might have judged people who lived differently than me, those who actively sought the public’s praise.
However, as with constant growth, I’m reversing the notion with this question:
What if you did things for publicity and praise, and it brought joy, growth, and elicited contributions? Is it expedient? And is the world better?
If your answers are positive, then I urge you to try growing and contributing, but there’s a caveat. To grow, you must rise every day and accept the challenges as you climb the mountain of life. You cannot worry about the end, the imaginary self-inflicted failures, and fumble the start that is at your disposal. Be positive and tackle the day as it coughs up new challenges.